True Colours
by xsanguine
Summary: Sometimes you have to suffer through the pain alone. [SenRu]


**DISCLAIMER: I do not own these two ultra hot bishies. ): The song is copyrighted Cyndi Lauper.**

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"He wanted me to hand this letter to you…he wrote it bit by bit, whenever he gained consciousness. He said to give it to you should he…be in danger of leaving."

But he could not hear.

He was too busy staring at the neatly written name on the pristine white envelope the woman had passed to him.

He did not want to acknowledge this letter, the name looked foreign to him, yet he knew it was his. He also knew the contents of the letter, but he opened the envelope and unfolded the creased paper anyway.

Blinking, he digested the first few lines, painfully carved into the paper with black ink. A vision of Rukawa clutching the pen, sitting on the hospital bed and etching out every word with strength floated into his mind, and he dismissed the thought.

"_Sendoh,_

_I knew this day would come. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, but I didn't want our relationship to change. I was selfish, I know. I tried to discourage you, tried to be aloof to you, but you didn't let me. You wanted the chance, you deserved the chance to be with me. So I let you, although I knew I shouldn't._

_The days I spent with you were undoubtedly the best time I've ever spent with someone ever since I discovered my disease, ever since I began shutting out the world. Basketball kept my mind off human interaction so I didn't have a chance to experience raw emotions, yet basketball was how I met you, and you defeated me in every aspect._

_You were my downfall._

_Falling was bittersweet. I was like a normal person again, yet I knew I could be anything but that. I could be the best basketballer in the whole world, yet I would never be a normal person. You made me feel like I was just that, and I relished the feeling. However, I knew that should my illness ever take me away, the pain would be unbearable. The pain of leaving everything, leaving the things I came to love, leaving all I have felt before, leaving you._

_You're probably cursing me for being a fool and telling me you didn't regret a single moment you spent with me. But I know you're sad, I know your sadness even when you try to mask it with your smile._

_Don't be upset. Remember that nice song we heard on the radio together? I found the title for the song. Here, I'll write it for you._

_You with the sad eyes  
Don't be discouraged,  
Though i realize it's hard to take courage  
__In a world, full of people,  
__You can lose sight of it  
And the darkness inside you  
will make you feel so small_

_But I see your true colors, shining through  
I see your true colors, and that's why I love you  
So don't be afraid, to let them show  
Your true colors, true colors  
Are beautiful, like a rainbow_

_Show me a smile, don't be unhappy  
I can't remember when I last saw you laughing  
If this world makes you crazy and  
You've taken in all you can bear  
You call me up- because you know I'll be there.._"

The rest of the letter was unreadable, because Rukawa's handwriting had disintegrated into a scrawl as his strength left him day by day. There was only two more stanzas of the song, and finally, a last parting line.

Then, the phone rang, piercing through the stifling silence of his room, jerking him out of his thoughts.

He did not want to pick up the phone, the ringing sounded foreign to him, yet he knew it was his phone. He also knew what was at the end of the line, but he picked up the receiver anyway.

"Is this Sendoh Akira?I'm calling from the Kanagawa Hospital . (1) Mr Kaede…he could not pull through this time. Do you want-"

He felt a sinking, crushing sensation as he replaced the phone, cutting off the nurse in mid-sentence. Fingers grasping the paper tenderly, he stared at it, a numbed feeling in his heart.

What was he supposed to feel now? Sadness? Desperation? Denial? Berate himself for having a gut feeling that this would happen in the end...or happiness? Happiness that he had the chance to spend time with his dearest Rukawa before God decided to take him away, which was what Sendoh feared all along.

A bitter smile curved his lips as his tears blurred his vision and splattered onto the thin, lined paper. It was only through his distorted vision that he managed to finally see the last sentence of the letter, a sentence which had, ironically, only deemed to show itself now, after everything was too late.

"I love you too, Rukawa."

But he could not hear.

(1) Ehehehe. Is there really such a hospital? My imagination is horrible. xD

AN: Well, it's another sad piece, mainly because I can't do happy that well. Heh. Hence, instead of crawling into a hole and just dying for the benefit of humanity, I decided to churn out this rubbish. Still, it is a piece of rubbish I wrote with my heart, so please review. Thanks.


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